Strong, confident people can be very attractive. But if they think they are much better than they actually are, you could be dealing with a severe case of narcissism.
What is narcissism?
A narcissist has an overblown sense of their own self worth and love to admired, flattered and praised. On the down side, they may come across as cold, un-empathetic, manipulative and critical. So why would you date anyone like that?
When you first get together with a narcissist, they can be hugely attractive. Their self confidence is appealing and their charisma is magnetic. Initially, they are very hard to resist.
It gets old – fast.
For the following reasons – which you may or may not have come across already. Give it time…
They find it very hard to commit
They may be dating you but they could be keeping an eye out for another partner who is more attractive. This is no reflection on you – but says a lot about your narcissistic partner. They think they’re the cat’s pyjamas, so they believe that they deserve the best. Even if you look like Cindy Crawford, they would still be trying to up their game. If it makes you feel any better, if they find someone they think fits the bill, they will be looking over her shoulder too. It’s a never ending quest for the perfection they believe they deserve.
They would rather be admired that get pleasure from an emotional connection
You may have tried various ways to build an emotional connection with your partner that have all failed and may have caused arguments. Narcissists don’t value the caring and sharing that close partners usually do. They would rather have you fawning over them at every opportunity.
They may be aggressive
If a narcissist doesn’t get their own way they have a tendency to become aggressive. In their mind, they are the best so it follows that they should always get what they want. This highly immature trait can lead you to hit a brick wall with them – or at the very least they will stall for time. If this escalates to violence it may be totally unprovoked and may be verbal or physical. These behaviors make it almost impossible to resolve conflicts in an adult manner.
They are prone to cheating
Even if you get your narcissist into a serious relationship, they are more willing than ‘normal’ people to risk a one night stand or to have an affair. The more narcissistic they are, the more willing they are to do this. This is because of their constant need to feel that others find them attractive.
They play mind games
They are likely to reject a loving, trusting relationship, preferring a sense of power and freedom. To achieve this, they may lie, be controlling, manipulate and flirt with others. Because they hide their real personality it may be almost impossible to form a loving, trusting relationship with them.
Now that you know the typical behavior of a narcissist, you will be more aware of what you’re up against. Do you stay or go? Women always think that they can change men. Maybe they can…but this one is a real challenge.